Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime

I wonder if it’s true that everybody likes somebody, and everyone is liked by someone else. But more importantly than that: is there such a thing as a perfect love? Not even perfect love, but mutual love in general?

Earlier today, I tried to connect all the relationships of my friends and people I know, and it seems like a never ending chain of people lying, cheating, in love with their best friend’s significant other and the like.

It’s sort of sad but by reflecting on all my friends who are in relationships or were in realtionships, I’ve noticed that something is terribly wrong with all of them.

Not trivial things such as “She’s dating a guy with funny hair”, but real issues that they either can’t overcome, or they just ignore. A female friend of mine at school had been in a relationship with an abusive boy, who was so protective he erased half of the numbers in her cell phone and refused to let her out of his sight on the weekends. Another girl currently has 3 boyfriends, none of them know about the others, but she loves them all equally, so it’s hard to tell. Someone I used to know loves her boyfriend to death, but he loves someone else; her best friend. She can’t break up with him because she loves him too much, but obviously it isn’t mutual.

In addition to these I happen to know a lot of people, male and female who are deeply in love with their significant other, but are completely oblivious to the fact that the person doesn’t love them back. They may like them but they don’t love them. That’s one of thesaddest things to witness, because you look at the person who is in love, having the time of their life, just so happy and charismatic; but only you and a few choice people know that it’s all one sided, and no one can tell the person in love. To tell them would be to kill their happy energy, and ruin their chances and hope for love again, which is something no one wants to do.

This all brings me to something I haven’t been able to get off my mind for years. In middle school, my friend… Cow had liked this guy who dated one of our close friends soon after he was aware of her feelings. She was sad and venting on the phone. I don’t remember how our conversation got to this point but I had said

“But you still love him.” to which she replied:

“There is no such thing as being in love if your “love” is unrequited. It’s only infatuation. Love requires two people.”

I took her words to be true, because they seemed true. At some point in their lives, everyone has a crush, and they say to themselves “I love this person.” Then after sometime, their crush proves to be fruitless, and they move on to the next person, claiming to “love” them to. But is love swayed that quickly? I’d be broken if I was in love and in a relationship and my boyfriend just said one day “I don’t love you anymore, I love that chick over there.”

“Love requires two people”

Here’s where all my logic finds in it’s face a counterexample: The One-Sided Relationship.

As mentioned before, I’ve seen relatioships with one person in love and unaware of their significant other’s feelings, which are usually of the  ”friendly like” kind and not the”love” kind. Is it wrong to say that the unaware lover isn’t in love? That he/she is simply infatuated with the other person?

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It is wrong. One can be in love without being love, what they feel determines this.

It is right. One cannot be in love without being loved, what they don’t feel determines this.