Twilight Princess!!!! Finally!!!

Hello. I have not blogged in a while. Very unusual for me. Also very unusual is the fact that my title isn’t a song lyric. The only time it wasn’t was with my first two posts. Kinda feel like I’m betraying myself but whatever. Anyways, my parents finally broke down and bought my brother and I a Wii. And the best part is I finally have my own copy of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Now I don’t have to go to someone else’s house to play. Although I must say I look really weird when I play it, due to the fact that I am wearing bright red hello kitty flannel pajamas (in the middle of 80 degree weather) with my Whitney class of 2011 shirt (highlighter blue), all while runnning back in forth screaming “TRIFORCE” everytime it appears on the screen, being fangirly for Teenage Link, and jumping around using the wii-mote as a sword.

Ya. I’m just that strange.

But how can you not fangirl over teenage link? I mean I was pretty darn mad when I saw the cel shaded, 6 year old Link back when he first appeared in the wind waker. Really. A midget like the one introduced to us in Wind Waker, being the bearer of the triforce of courage and the Hero of Time? My ass. And as if to torture me more, the japanese idiot who came up with this new design decided to continue it in Four Swords and Minish Cap…

Midget Link:

And then someone else came up with hot Teenage Link and made my world that much better. Because really ladies, if you were Zelda, would you rather be saved by this:

<– no feet and a fairy wand!! How manly and heroic!!

This:

<— no pants (not even tights!!)

or THIS:

<— Feet and Pants!! Has Link ever had both?

But then a little bit later, Phantom Hourglass was released and the midget came back. Hot Link (ahaha i made a funny) is dead.

Around this time I went emo. With no correlation to the above events.

really.

Anyways sometimes Twilight Princess scares the crap out of me. Like in the first dungeon, with the annoying monkeys, there is a platform with pots hanging from strings. So I was like “If my Zelda knowledge has taught me anything, it’s that pots must be smashed!” and raced towards that platform. I should mention that because my loud monkey companion was making so much noise, I muted the TV, and thus was unable to hear any warning music. just as I am reaching it BAAAAMM!!! A giant spider with a skull on its back (that I completely failed to see) falls from the ceiling from the temple and attacks Link. I screamed. I rarely do that while playing video games. It scared me to the point that I was trembling. Also my breathing was very erratic.

Sadly, during my time of hyperventilating, Link was killed by the spider and I had to re-fight it. I was okay this time, but that stupid spider gives me the willies. But then again so do those black things in the water in the Twilight Realm. So does Midna (imp form). So does wolf link.

And now I’m stuck on the game. I’m still at the part where you have to find all of the stupid monkeys and get the gale boomerang. It’s frustrating because I have to grab one of those bomb spiders and blow up a wall, but it is very far away and the bomb blows up before I get there.

And to add to my horrible Zelda slump, I recieved my monthly “Nature’s Curse”… which sucks, because this time next month, school starts, so I’ll be the Mina, the Freaking Bloody Mary of the 21st century. I hate it. Anytime something good happens, my body decides it wants to bleed. Like now, I’m going to the beach tomorrow (with Nosukii) and last year we went to the beach and I was bloody then too… it makes me want to be a man…

Or a lesbian. What do they need periods for?